It has been a while since we did a reaction shot comic of a movie and oh boy do we have a real juicy one for you today. So sit back, relax and enjoy laughing your ass off as we watch and react to "Dragon Nest: Warrior's Dawn", a Chinese-American CGI movie based on a MMO game called Dragon Nest which I only have heard slightly about in the past but I guess that it is actually quite popular enough to warrant a movie and a upcoming sequel.
Couldn't they have made Wildstar instead? Anyway, onward with the movie!
1: Its pretty bad when every single fantasy movie has to have a intro sequence complete with a mysterious female voice narrating the back ground story and the settings complete with a fantasy drawn map.
2: Oh, and did I mention that this movie was entirely made CGI? Well, that basically means that we get action scenes in which the director thinks its cool to have odd camera angles and movements as well as a cinematic effect that I'm sure that is NOT outdated at all...
3:We see that the attacker turns out to be... We have no idea. Sure we KNOW that she's evil and all but just because she is wearing black and has red glowing eyes, doesn't mean that we don't want to know more about this character. And as you can imagine, they don't really explain it other than she is evil and that she is manipulating from behind the scene and she makes appearances here and there.
4: Another bad sign that we had to endure, a young annoying human character that TRIES to be hip and cool but ends up being a embarrassing image that makes even Justin Bieber like a pure role model for how young men should act like... Oh yeah, THAT bad.
5: We gotta love evil minions, goblins or whatever these things are called that just HAVE to speak in single words about how evil they are.
6: During a chase scene, the beasts throws a sword at our main character and hits a tree instead and this results in a logic hole in movies like this.
7: You know what else we love? A chase scene that has to have a literal "cliffhanger" where the characters falls into a cliff but manages to grab a conveniently place tree branch on the cliff walls.
8: And of course, our main hero manages to "skillfully" get down from his peril by jumping, sliding and what not and makes it out of there with ease.
9: Yeah, we realize that we are getting a ton load of fantasy clichés within only TEN minutes from the start of this movie.
10: We are also introduced to a recurring gag that was SUPPOSED to be a quirk for our main protagonist but it just comes off as that hot dog scene from "The Happening" or something similar.
11: Speaking of quirks, our here is quite the rapscallion with quite the confidence that doesn't come off as annoying, stupid or just a all around fuck up with no real place in the movie whatsoever... Yeaaaaaaaah...
12: And here is what pissed me off when Chili told me more about the character...
13: Our main here is sadly saved by a new character and we start to list down the character tropes.
14: And again, there is much to check off.
15: As we gradually are introduced to more and more characters , we meet two of them who really hates each other but we both know where this is going.
16: All of a sudden, our heroes are surrounded by several beasts inside the city that has SOMEHOW managed to sneak in...
17:Since Chili has seen the movie before me, she is eager for me to see what kind of character the blonde haired knight is
18: Our main character meets a young female elf and... yeah, we could tell where this was going as well... disgustingly enough.
19: Despite him constantly fucking up or doesn't really defeat any monsters on his own, the MC (main character) still comes off as overly confident and... well, I just wanted to punch him.
20: To make matters worse, Chili compares the MC to another main character from a game that was equally annoying and frustratingly bad.
21: Needless to say, that broke my mind.
22: ...Until we meet a character named Velskud (No seriously, not making it up) and I just.... oh my lord, I mean LOOK at him!! vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/d…
And he looks even goofier in the movie!!
23: Well, despite the crap, there are some points in this movie we have to give credit for...
24: This is what we have to do everytime we have a firework scene.
25: Our main character are given the advice by a blacksmith to stay behind and let the REAL heroes do their quest for peace and glory and whatever they are supposed to do.
26: We painfully wade through what is supposed to be a emotional scene character development between the elf and the main hero but we wonder WHY.
27: Our real heroes are having a dinner meeting with the king where they discusses the solution to kill off the Big Bad which in this case is a Black Dragon and how it has a gem in the chest as a weakpoint and... well this IS based on a game so inserting game jokes is green lighted.
28: Soon they argue and it sounds more like a scene from Batman the 1960s movie.
29: The main here... No you know what I'm calling him Loser, because that's what he ever will be. Anyway, our Loser sneaks in and tells him of a ... ugh... "great" idea on how to take out the dragon, and everyone likes it...
30: After that, we have a scene revealing the true intension from the evil looking guy wearing black.
31: You know, wouldn't it be awesome if we DIDN'T have a scene where they ride a ship or a air ship in this case and it actually is a nice weather all the way to the evil realm? No? Too original and fun so we have to have a cliche thunderstorm? ... Fiiiiiiine.
32: Well our heroes including Loser survive which means that they are going have to walk there, which means ROAD TRIP
33:Seriously, this song is just so god awful... Moving on
34: I am amazed that the Loser hasn't ended up being ketchup by his annoying presence.
35: they arrive at a ancient ruin in the swamp complete with ghosts that was killed in wars ages ago
36: We meet a some kind of monster bat that will serve as the padding action scene in this movie.
37: the bat monster has a familiar speech pattern...
38: for all the talk about the ghosts and horrors in the ruins, you think that they would mention it more...
39: I swear to god, right out of nowhere we have.... -gag- a love scene between Loser and the poor delusional elf girl that had NO chemistry between them whatsoever!
40: Luckily, a cock block provides a relief for a change...
41: They arrive at a new dungeon, I mean location and the priest starts to tale about curses and whatnot that we couldn't help to reference another movie again.
42: Loser's constant whining and complaining about the snow grinds my very soul...
43: During a fight scene with goblins riding wyverns or something, one of the monsters drops a skull staff and it stars to shoot lasers and destroys the place causing a avalanche. Which is weird, shouldn't staffs stop working when noone is holding them? I don't know, but this was just so weird that I had to put this one in.
44: Like so many bad stories, the side characters are often the ones who provides much more interesting stories and such better than the main characters and the blonde knight really shows his stuff.
45: As the king's army are preparing to attack the evil army, we get a nice shot of most of the ugly monsters
46: Loser tries to do some kind of scream attack that the barbarian can which creates a cool chock wave but Loser fails to do so.
47: Despite the fact that Loser has NO real training whatsoever, he STILL manages to stay alive from a HUGE armored ogre monster thingie.
48: the elf girl is fallen and Loser screams in anguish but it just sounds... wow XD
49: For some reason, we never get to see what really caused elf girl to fall down and that annoyed chili endlessly.
50: While Loser manages to pull off that shock scream, the way he sounds is just so... :roflmao:
51: We have a huge fight scene between the monsters and the main heroes but since this is based on a MMO, I just wanted to pick up a player control and play...
52: All of a sudden, the blonde knight reveals his true powers and... This is worth watching through this movie. the blond knight, is a Golden Fourwinged Dragon... I swear, I literally raised my arms in the air and had that goofy expression watching that.
53: During this... AWESOME fight scene between the evil Black Dragon and the good Golden Dragon and our heroes, I just heard this song during the entire scene: www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jgrCK…
54: Loser has a badass moment... i guess...
55: How the Loser managed to climb the Black Dragon without being tossed by by gravity, turbulence or the fighting... is anyone's guess.
56: The heroes keep shouting Loser's name which we actually learn right NOW was actually Lambert... Sure we only remembered him as Fish since the barbarian picked him up to his ship and referred him as a fish he caught but even a fish had more dignity than Loser. But even then, we couldn't help to reference a old Disney short everytime they shouted Lambert.
57: During the awesome fight scenes, we actually forgot that Loser was in this movie for a moment...
58: We have a scene where the petals from a flower that elf girl shot earlier in the movie with her arrow, only NOW starts to falls off the flower despite walking through winter, and harsh environment...
59: Once again, Loser contributed to NOTHING in this fight scene!
60: All the characters act harshly and assholes towards the blonde knight to helped him, because all "dragons are evil" ... www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O8kRT…
61: We get a lot of tensed moments with the black gem and the black knight being corrupted and bla bla bla bla...
62: Velskud gets transformed slowly into a dragon, and Chili has a thing for transformation scenes and I don't really get that.
FINAL VERDICT: Typical Fantasy movie with a few decent shots and designs, but bland are overshot by the annoying main character.
This movie is... Amazing. And I do mean like its amazing that it was filled to the brim with every single tropes and cliches you can fit into a fantasy movie. It had everything, and I do EVERYTHING. It was like watching a fantasy novel written by a 14 year old boy who only read Tolkien and decides to write his own fantasy and crammed in all the sins and mistakes you can make creating a fantasy story.
But the real sad thing is that this movie also felt really rushed. As if it was like a summary or that they took the episodes from the season of a longer TV series and cut it together into a movie. It had so many plot devices and plot points that was easily ignored or forgotten and sudden twists and turns within characters were so sudden that you kept wondering that if this was a animated TV show instead, maybe we could understand the world and its lore a bit better.
The characters were standard bland fantasy hero team, overshadowed by the most annoying bratty main protagonist who is just a useless gary stu character that had no place and purpose in the entire movie.
So my advice is that watch this movie if you wanna see how you do NO write fantasy...